Work Happiness - I Done This Blog

Why Work Loneliness Isn’t Just a Personal Problem, and What to Do About It

November 8, 2019 by Janet Choi 1 Comment

Work is a social thing. It’s done with people, and at the very least, for people. At the same time, you are one person with a job to do. When those personal and social gears are out of alignment, when you’re not connecting with the people you spend so many hours a day with, you get lonely.

Loneliness seems like such an intensely personal, private problem, but it’s much more than that. Loneliness and isolation is a collective issue. And at work, loneliness is yet another effect of the inadequate attention paid to the human side of getting stuff done together.

Whether it’s the inertia of interacting with the same people every day in a way that’s unique from all your other relationships, there’s a prevailing sense that work is this realm where you just deal, that it’s not something that you can improve. While we understand the prioritization of personal friends and loved ones, we often miss out on meaningful interaction with the person down the hall, focus on growing our supposed professional network more than we look next to us to grow higher quality connections.

That kind of thinking is unhealthy, unhelpful, and unproductive.

The quality of your social connections impact your physical and emotional well-being, and so impact the physical and emotional well-being of the people who run a business. Cultivating higher quality relationships with your co-workers, then, requires something of a 360-degree approach, taking responsibility for how you interact with others and how you treat yourself.

The Cheese Who Stands Alone Gets Less Done

When you start feeling isolated at work, you also get demoralized and detached, perhaps even depressed.

In the first study to empirically analyze the effect of loneliness on work performance, Sigal Barsade and Hakan Ozcelik examined the experiences of 672 employees in 143 teams. They found that indeed loneliness led to withdrawal from work, weaker productivity, motivation, and performance. Importantly, the study also showed that this doesn’t happen in a vacuum, that “co-workers can recognize this loneliness and see it hindering team member effectiveness.”

Loneliness is a personal emotion, but it’s not a private concern. The effect of loneliness reverberates, becoming a concern for the group, the organization, the community.

In The Progress Principle, Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer write about one of the vital ingredients of what makes us fulfilled and flourish in our work — the nourishment factor of human connection. Recognition and gratitude, encouragement, emotional support, and camaraderie are all elements of the nourishment factor — aspects of work that so often are treated as mere window dressing, as spiritless exercises or tired, meaningless buzzwords, and as far as you can get from true priorities.

“Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity,” French philosopher Simone Weil once wrote, and in what seems to be an ever-head-down, busily streaming life, that seems a harder truth than ever. Your wholehearted attention is how you connect to others, to the world around you, while our pragmatic attitudes about work have little room to even consider generosity.

The nourishment factor — these acts of generosity, of giving and receiving our full attention, expressing gratitude and providing support — feeds our cores, makes us more resilient and enduring, helps us to strive.

Start By Getting Better Control Over Your Feelings

How you pay attention, be present in the moment, and not let feelings like loneliness and stress dominate your thought processes — especially when you’re dealing with that disconnection all by yourself — is the practice of mindfulness.

You may have heard this term before, but if you haven’t embraced it yet, it’s time to check out “mindfulness.”

Patricia Karpas, host of not only the mindfulness podcast “Untangle” but also part founder of the “Meditation Studio” app, explained to Forbes that “Integrating mindfulness is about taking a moment to pause, so you’re not always on autopilot.”

What is Mindfulness?

The goal of mindfulness is to live in your body, to control your negative thoughts or negative self-image by mastering the idea that none of those thoughts are real. These stressors, which tend to crop up especially when you have no one else to talk to, are really just a story your mind is telling yourself.

This is done primarily through taking note of the regular and normal processes of your body. Noticing small aches or pains in your body, taking awareness of your breaths, even slowing them down and practicing “deep belly breathing.”

From a physiological standpoint, the idea is take control of your vagus nerve, which among many things, helps calm a stressed, scared, or anxious racing heart and attunes your ear to human voices. The strength of this friendly nerve is measured by vagal tone, the relationship between heart rate and breathing rate. The higher the vagal tone, the better your physical and emotional health — from your cardiovascular system and glucose levels to superior regulation of emotion, cognitive flexibility, and social connection with others.

Take a few moments throughout the day to take some deep breaths. Deep diaphragmatic breathing — that’s from the belly, not your chest — can stimulate the vagus nerve and allow you to take a step back in times of feeling solitary or unsupported.

Even when a day is not markedly stressful, spending a lot of time in front of the computer, I find my breathing rather shallow and my shoulders beginning to hunch up by my ears. Moments of deep breathing are check-ins, a way I can get some air into cobwebby brainspace, relax my shoulders and back, and unfurl my attention to the people around me.

Embracing Meditation

Meditation is another important way to strengthen yourself to better communicate with others, especially co-workers in an isolated environment. “Meditation enables you to be more skillful in listening to others, to see new, fresh ideas from all levels in an organization,” said Patricia Karpas, in an interview with Thrive. Even just five minutes of motivation can help relieve stress and put you more in sync with your own body.

Quick meditation apps like the Mindfulness App, Meditation Studio, and Stop Breathe & Think can be downloaded onto your iPhone or Android with little fuss and opened up whenever you need a moment to center yourself. Guided meditation podcasts are also great for meditation newbies, or those seeking a little more structure for their mental exercises. Check out My Meditation Station, Daily Meditation Podcast, or the Meditation Minis podcast if you’re looking for a guided experience.

Taking the time to connect with and tune into yourself and others has resounding effects, improving a whole spectrum of health — physical, emotional, and social. And doing that creates a positive feedback loop, all starting from within.

4 Ways to Nourish Yourself and Your Team at Work

Learn how to tune into yourself and each other to be both particle and wave, to not feel so alone while working together. You are part of a team, and in turn, that team is greater than the sum of its parts, creating and resonating with a cohesive, buzzy energy.

Here are some ways you can build more meaningful, nourishing connections as a member of your working world as well as examples of how some companies are attaining that group resonance. And remember, even asynchronous communication at work can still provide many of the same benefits.

1. Start with yourself, and learn how to share.

If you’re feeling continual isolation or dissonance anywhere — whether at work, at home, and anywhere in between — your emotions are telling you to take another look at your circumstances. These poorer quality connections can be corrosive, eroding energy and ramping up stress, anxiety, and fear — feelings that we shouldn’t merely tune out and, it turns out, that the vagus nerve helps to soothe.

So be kind and attentive to yourself first. Often we put our heads down to get work done or to get through the day, and don’t allow the chance to listen to ourselves.

Also reach out and share with each other. Workplace collaboration is vital for feeling less anxiety and greater connection. Companies are making use of apps like Slack and Lattice to not only share their work accomplishments but also their self-improvement goals, from sticking with fitness regimes to learning to code. These points provide fodder for rich conversations and opportunities to show incredible support, helping to create a close, nourishing work life that permits people to be vulnerable yet supported and always aiming higher.

2. Show, don’t tell, your attention.

Being present, being available, and paying attention — even in a short interaction — can really only be demonstrated, not conjured up by saying that’s what you’re doing. Managers can’t say that they care about their team members, and then never be around to listen to them.

As a distributed company, the team at Zapier is particularly alert to the dangers of loneliness and extremely mindful of how its members are connecting. They make sure to constantly and visibly reach out, going on team trips, creating processes of daily feedback, and using connecting tools like Slack, which allows them to see each other over a continually refreshing image feed and chat with the click of a button.

3. Nourish your peers with recognition and gratitude.

The way many companies handle employee recognition is broken and counterproductive, dismissing and disrespecting the hard work that people do everyday. Not only do most recognition approaches treat feedback like a formal event, administered by managers from on high, they also fail to acknowledge how that hard work often involves helping someone else.

One solution that innovative teams have implemented are crowdsourcing and peer recognition, from the good folks at EverTrue, who use the employee recognition platform Kazoo in conjunction with iDoneThis to give each other rewards to the human relations-oriented employees at Shopify, who use an internal system to crowdsource bonuses. Those who deserve acknowledgment for their efforts and support are bubbled up and made visible, all by people who have actual knowledge and appreciation and want to say “thanks” to boot.

4. Take time to do small things.

Even small gestures that are considerate and supportive can make a fortifying difference to cut through feelings of isolation and the emotional paper cuts we accumulate as the day goes by. It’s quality, not quantity, and small moments of true attention, support, encouragement, and fun can charge people up with a much-needed spark.

Take, for example, the team at Wistia, who exude an attitude of openness and conviviality that’s reflected in their work. They take time to shake up their routines as a creative exercise, where they’re allowed to try to learn new skills like coding, build props or costumes to make a presentation more fun, or even make a video their fellow team members might enjoy.

They have a ton of fun together, spending “extracurricular” time together outside work to play on a company softball league, change desks every few months to switch up desk neighbors, and share a bite at their own Hogwarts-style table.

* * * * *

These days, the most interesting companies are hacking their culture, and culture at its heart is about people and togetherness despite being so often talked about as if it is about things. Dig deeper beneath the ping-pong games and the free food and that’s where you start to unearth what goes into building a culture of meaningful nourishment factors that battle loneliness at work.

Whether it’s as small and strong as the twelve-person team at Buffer or the thousands-strong at Zappos, whose internal connectedness has resonated from within its offices, out to the happiness of its customers, and even to the streets of downtown Vegas, the heart-to-brain and person-to-person links create a meaningful community, the kind that builds itself from the inside and radiates out.

What do you do at work to meaningfully connect? Share with us in the comments.

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Images: [1] Sippanont Samchai; [2] zerega; [3] Caro Wallis; [4] Jeremy Hockin; [5] Wistia.

When Employees Feel Ignored at Work, Everyone Suffers

March 25, 2019 by Jimmy Daly 2 Comments

This piece was originally published in 2016 and has been updated to include new advice for teams in 2019.

What exactly does ostracism at work look like?

On the exclusion spectrum, you’ll find everything from accidentally leaving someone off a calendar invite to purposefully avoiding an individual in the lunchroom. Feeling ignored at work is a silent but hurtful experience.

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The topic may seem trivial — “Are adults really so sensitive?” you might ask — but it’s one that can have a serious impact on your employees’ job satisfaction, performance, and happiness. A 2014 study questioned if a lack of attention could be more painful for victims than bullying. Perhaps surprisingly, the answer is often yes.

How Distractions Ruin The Most Important Thing You Can Be Doing At Work

March 8, 2019 by Blake Thorne Leave a Comment

Editor’s note: This post was first published in 2015. We’ve updated this post with new research and additional tips.

We live in the most distracting time in history. When else did people have access to so much information with so little effort?

It’s a phenomenon that can be both beautiful and terrible. You can easily stumble upon a new favorite song or a link to a book that changes your life. You can take personalized Portuguese lessons with a native speaker without leaving your house. Or . . .

Cats. So many cats. One click on a Facebook link can send you down the rabbit hole of lost time and missed productivity. Who knows how many hours and dollars you’re costing yourself in the long run.

Even worse, we’re most susceptible to these kinds of distractions at work, where our attention and energy are at their most vulnerable.

Distraction is taking away your time, and it’s taking away your money. But worse than that, it’s taking away the most valuable, important thing you can be doing at work: It’s taking away your flow.

Scaling Your Business Without Losing Your Culture

November 2, 2018 by Walker Donohue Leave a Comment

Aside from “innovation,” few buzzwords carry as little real meaning in Silicon Valley and the broader tech sector than “culture.”

While countless startups and established companies alike have seized upon the idea of corporate culture as a vehicle of employee attraction and a way to differentiate themselves in crowded markets, culture remains one of the most crucial aspects of your organization.

So how do you cultivate and maintain a strong, ethical corporate culture when you’re trying to scale?

In this article, we’ll be taking a look at what companies actually mean when they talk about culture, as well as ways to foster your corporate culture as a direct reflection of your company’s brand values.

First, let’s talk about what culture really means.

Healthy, Productive Cultures Don’t Just Happen

Perhaps the most important thing to realize about culture—at least as it pertains to companies and brands—is that, even if you do nothing, a culture will emerge across your organization. Once we understand this, it becomes easier to see that culture is a result of actions, decisions, and direct actions.

Put another way, strong corporate cultures don’t just “happen.” We have to make them happen.

This is surprisingly difficult even in the early stages of small companies. Think about it for a second. If workplace culture is an extension of a company’s brand values, who decides what those values are? Once that’s been figured out, how do you actually disseminate these ideas and values across your organization?

You could be forgiven for thinking that the CEO or founders are responsible for identifying and shaping a company’s values as well as ensuring that every employee understands these principles. The problem with this approach is that it’s up to a single individual to arbitrarily decide what the entire company’s values are and adopt a top-down approach to implementing those values. This is fine if your company aspires to be the personal fiefdom of a control-freak CEO, but for companies that want to cultivate and nurture genuinely meaningful corporate cultures, it’s completely, wildly unrealistic.

What We Really Mean When We Talk About ‘Culture’

One way to think about culture is to see it as “our way of life.” As you can probably imagine, this covers virtually every single aspect of a company and its operations, from large, intangible brand values to how your customer support teams answer the phone or respond to email.

Culture encompasses big and small things, such as:

The products we build and how we ship them
The way we communicate internally and externally
The messages we choose not to send—and why
The incentives we use to motivate our staff
The behaviors we exhibit every day
The boundaries that, if crossed, have meaningful consequences
The speed at which serious problems are escalated to someone who can solve them
The speed at which those problems are acted upon
The way we dress and the symbols we display
The ways in which we celebrate victories
The things that make us proud, and the things that bring us shame
The things that upset us, and the things that bring us joy
The things we do to grow as individuals and as teams
The way we perceive ourselves and our role in a company

This is by no means an exhaustive list of the things that fall under the umbrella of corporate culture. It is, however, a way to start thinking beyond Casual Fridays and ping-pong tables as being representative of the cultures we create.

Our companies—and our people—deserve better.

Action + Communication = Values

One of the major challenges to establishing and maintaining a strong, cohesive corporate culture is the fact that many companies rely on at least partially distributed teams. It’s hard enough to foster and cultivate an inclusive culture at a growing company without tossing remote workers and asynchronous communication into the mix.

That’s what makes understanding that corporate values are the direct result of what we do every day and how we communicate with each other so important.

However, even this is easier said than done. For small teams, it may well be possible to intentionally create a positive culture via Slack. For larger teams or fast-growing companies, it’s completely impossible.

As Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius once said, “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” For our purposes, this means that all those negative interactions we try to avoid—angry posts on social, customer support tickets, bad reviews—are actually the most valuable opportunities to identify and cultivate the brand values we want to foster across our companies. A negative tweet, for example, may be a great opportunity to identify a potential feature gap in a product or fix an overlooked bug. A customer support ticket might be a great way to update your internal documentation or develop a new troubleshooting tool.

Put another way, failure is a much better teacher than success.

Values Are Meaningless Until We Act Upon Them

As we mentioned earlier, “culture” has become one of the most overused buzzwords in tech. Many companies talk a good game about their culture and values, but talk is cheap.

Values mean nothing until we act on them. We’re inherently social creatures. We follow the examples set by others, particularly those we admire. It’s easy for a CEO to talk about open-door policies, but their actions are what matter; it doesn’t matter how easy it is for employees to air their grievances with the Executive team if nothing ever comes of it.

There are unique challenges to retaining a strong corporate culture as a company grows. However, managing organizational change always comes back to the same two things: how we communicate and how we choose to act upon that communication. This applies to the scrappiest underdog startups and to established tech behemoths.

Avoiding Culture Shock

Corporate culture is a lot like a garden. Left alone, it may be fine for a while, but before long, you’ll be confronted with a tangled, overgrown wilderness that bears no resemblance to the garden you originally planted. If, however, you tend that garden carefully and consistently, it will bloom and thrive.

Take a look at the culture of your company and think of it as that garden. How are you nurturing it? When was the last time you got on your hands and knees and weeded it? How often do you water it? Sure, Mother Nature will do most of the work, but we have to get our hands dirty, too.

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12 Startup Leaders on What They Love about Their Company Cultures

September 19, 2017 by I Done This Support Leave a Comment

Startup founders begin with building new products and end up building new companies. Ultimately, some of the most successful companies not only reinvent a product or market, they change the way people work in a way that’s reflective of what they value most, and that’s embodied in their company culture.

To find out how startup leaders think about building companies that they themselves enjoy working in, we surveyed the founders of some of the most innovative startups out there to ask them one simple question:

What do you value most about your company culture, and what’s one important way that you contribute to it?

We received some amazing, proud and insightful responses from startup founders personally, another individual within the company who was eager to chip in, and the PR or marketing team.

How We Host Meetups

January 12, 2017 by Willa Rubin Leave a Comment

When we first started I Done This, getting to know our customers was easy. We also didn’t have a ton of customers.

As our subscriber list grew, getting to know our new customers became challenging. But we didn’t want to give up the close relationships we were developing with our customers. Our customers’ insights have been super valuable. And frankly, we genuinely like our customers and love connecting with them in a casual environment.

I Done This users are now based all around the world—so when we travel, we jump at the chance to get to know local users and have started hosting customer meetups. We carefully plan each step of the way, so that we set ourselves up for success. And by success, we mean having great conversations, really connecting, and positioning ourselves to maintain new customer relationships in the future.

Here’s how we plan our meetups to grow our customer relationships.

How To Plan For Daily Standups During The Holidays

December 8, 2016 by Willa Rubin Leave a Comment

daily-standups-holiday

For many employees, the holidays offer a welcome break in routine. But for team leaders, the last few weeks of December put a pin in their team’s productivity.

When so many people take off at the same time, it leaves the few remaining souls at the office with a ton of work on their plates. They need to get more work than usual done, and in less time.

Every second they spend in their typical in-person daily standups (that would otherwise help them track progress) eats away at time they could be using to pore through their mountains of work.

Frequent checkins are an important part of ensuring individuals are on track to meet their goals and working as a team. But especially when the holidays roll around, managers need to alter how they run standups and create additional support, without sacrificing their employees’ time or autonomy.

Here are some ways to revive your daily standups and simplify your workflow during holiday madness.

The Dangers of Knowledge Hoarding

November 22, 2016 by Georgina Parfitt Leave a Comment

Just like the poor souls on Hoarders, you may not realize you have a problem.

Think of all those little times in the day when you stop what you’re doing to ask “Emma, how does the copy machine work?” or “Bryan, how many days have you taken off this month?”

They seem like small-fry problems, but they are actually issues of employee empowerment. You stop, gather the information, and move on. But they all add up to a huge productivity drain for you and your company, for one single reason: knowledge hoarding. Information is stored in particular places, and particular people are responsible for it.

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Knowledge hoarding is normal but dangerous. Here’s why:

How Envoy Inspires Team Motivation with I Done This

October 11, 2016 by Sasha Rezvina Leave a Comment

What do some of the most well-known companies today (Pinterest, Yelp, Box, POPSUGAR, Asana, MailChimp) have in common? They all care immensely about their brand experience. What else do they have in common? They all use a service called Envoy to extend that brand experience to their front desk, creating a warm, delightful and quick check-in process for visitors.

Envoy is a visitor registration platform that’s been a game-changer for how guests are greeted in workplaces around the world. As part of the sign-in process, they automate badge-printing, host notifications and signing of NDAs and other legal agreements. Founded in 2013, Envoy now serves 6 million visitors in over 50 different countries.

As we learned recently, the small team of 37 people was able to inspire team motivation through high morale and fast growth, thanks, in part, to their favorite productivity tool. Here’s how they use I Done This.

Why Every Company Should Work as If They Were a Remote Company

July 19, 2016 by Sasha Rezvina 2 Comments

When you work in an office with a small team, it’s easy to cultivate a culture of co-dependence. After all, the email, the document, or the customer name that you need is just a shoulder tap away.

But relying on other people for information causes unnecessary friction in your workflow and directly hinders everyone’s productivity. Every time you tap someone on the shoulder you assume that what you need is more important than what they’re doing. It creates an entire culture around disruptiveness, where no one hesitates to interrupt their peers for their own needs.

Wouldn’t it be great if you didn’t have to ask anyone for information? If it were just readily available, right at your fingertips? For remote companies, it has to be this way.

Because remote companies tend to have employees scattered across the world, they are forced to put truly strong systems in place. As a result, everyone in a remote company is as productive as possible, because no one has to rely on other people to get the information they need.